January 12, Day 8
I wanted to share with you a portion of a talk that I have been studying by Elder Russell M. Nelson at a recent worldwide broadcast. At the end he issued an assignment. I am going to take him up on it and would love for you to join me. Take a look!
“While the world is filled with uncertainty, there need not be uncertainty in your heart and mind about what is true and what is not. Uncertainty is born of imperfect or unknown information… I plead with you to learn God’s irrevocable laws. Learn them by study and by faith. That means among other things, living by every word that proceedeth forth from the mouth of God. Pray to discern between God’s laws and the philosophies of men. Including those cunning counterfeits of the adversary. Through ions of time, Lucifer has honed his craft. He is skilled at distraction, distortion, deception and misdirection. I plead with you to avoid his cunning snares as you would avoid a plague.
As you keep God’s commandments and live by His laws, you’ll become increasingly free. This freedom will unveil to you your divine nature and allow you to prosper personally. You will be free from the bondage of sin, you will be free to be you! …Happily the blessings of living God’s commandments are also predictable, dependable, and repeatable.”
To Become A Greater Disciple of Christ
Jesus Christ, our Master is our ultimate mentor and this assignment will help you increase in your discipleship.
Consecrate a portion of your time each week to studying everything Jesus said and did. Study His laws as recorded in the Old Testament, New Testament, the Book of Mormon, and the Doctrine and Covenants.
Why these books?
Study the Old Testament for He is the Jehovah of the Old Testament
Study His laws as recorded in the New Testament for He is it’s Christ
Study His doctrine as recorded in the Book of Mormon of there is no book of scripture for which His mission and His ministry are more clearly revealed.
Study the Doctrine and Covenants for He continues to teach His people in this dispensation (time)
ADDITIONAL STUDY MATERIAL:
The Living Christ https://www.lds.org/ensign/2000/04/the-living-christ-the-testimony-of-the-apostles-the-church-of-jesus-christ-of-latter-day-saints?lang=eng
The Proclamation to the Family https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng
A PROMISE FOR YOU:
If you proceed to learn all that you can about Jesus Christ, I promise you that your love for Him and for God’s laws will grow beyond what you currently imagine. Your ability to turn away from sin will increase, your desire to keep the commandments will soar, you will find yourself better able to walk away from the entertainment and entanglements of those who mock the followers of Jesus Christ.
January 13, Day 9
My heart has been heavy over the past 24 hours as my husband’s cousin Andrew died from RSV. Then we received word that my sister’s neighbor hydroplaned while driving home from work and died from the impact. He left behind his wife and 5 kids.
Wonderful people that have to deal with really really hard things. In these moments it is so easy to question why. Why can’t they just live? Why do we have to have this heart ache? Why is it so hard?
And especially in the case of this sweet family who lost their dad, it’s so easy to think “What if this happened to me? To my family? What if I had to raise my children on my own?” And then I just want to stay home with my family, lock all of the doors, close the shutters, and live our life forever more sheltered and protected.
I know, not really very realistic. And this is not even half of my irrational thoughts I’ve had. But I was grateful to delve into the scriptures today. To find truth that could bring me comfort and peace at a time when so many are hurting and struggling. I know that Christ and his words can makes us whole even when we are hurting or broken. I am going to squeeze my husband and babies a little tighter tonight and forever. And I am so thankful that I have a forever family.
For today’s truth, I am sharing a few nuggets that gave my heart hope and peace today. And if you feel so inclined, please donate to their GoFundMe pages linked below. Xo <3 Laura
“The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life…As seedlings of God, we barely blossom on earth, we fully flower in heaven.” -Elder Russell M. Nelson, Doors of Death
Alma 40:11-12 (The Book of Mormon)
11 Now, concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection—Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life.
12 And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.
1 Cor. 15:22
22 For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.
He’ll See You Soon
By Marcia Crofts (My mom wrote this one Easter morning while I was on my mission and sent it to me. At the time my Grandpa was still alive but struggling. She had him in mind as she wrote it. I love that momma of mine)
Do not mourn, and tearfully say
That our dear father has passed away.
Instead, rejoice! Lift up your head;
Exclaim that he’s “passed on” instead.
Passed on into a beautiful room;
Only his body lies in the tomb,
But his spirit soars unfettered, free,
Transported to eternity.
Glorious reunions await him there.
Friends and family, as here, who care.
His entrance into the room above
Will resonate with warmth and love.
The Savior, bathed in love and light
Will be a most belov-ed sight.
Resting in His fond embrace,
Could there be a better place?
Then there’s work to do and things to know,
People to help and places to go.
God’s glorious work continues there;
It’s simply a transfer to a place more fair.
Christ has freed us from the grave.
His Atonement gave Him power to save
Us from death and from eternal pain,
To see His loving face again.
Covenants bind our loving ties.
One future day we all will rise
To live together in mansions fair,
Blissful, happy, free from care.
So do not mourn his passing on.
Just simply know that he has gone
To work for you in another room.
His love remains; he’ll see you soon.
An amazing talk: “Because of Him, even our Savior, Jesus Christ, those feelings of sorrow, loneliness, and despair will one day be swallowed up in a fulness of joy.” Read More Here:
What I believe about life and death (via this link: https://www.lds.org/topics/plan-of-salvation?lang=eng)
God Is Our Father
God is the Father of our spirits. We are created in His image. We have a divine nature and destiny.
We Lived with God
Before we were born, we lived with God, the Father of our spirits. All persons on earth are literally brothers and sisters in the family of God.
Earth Life Is Part of God’s Plan
Our life on earth has purpose. Coming to earth is part of God’s plan for us to gain a physical body and learn to choose between good and evil.
Jesus Christ Is the Way
Our Heavenly Father sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to be our Savior and show us the way to live according to God’s plan.
We Can Find Happiness
Following God’s plan for us is the surest way to find happiness and endure life’s challenges.
We Can Live with God Again
Our lives will not end when we die. Our future lives are determined by the way we live our lives now.
Watch some of my favorite videos about life and death below, Have you ever had any of these questions below?:
Why are we here on earth?
Where did we come from?
Where do we go after death?
January 14, Day 10
I love getting to know new people and making new friends. A while ago, I had the privilege to spend some time with a remarkable person, we’ll call her Jenny. Jenny is sacrificing and daring greatly to follow God’s will and accomplish something big with His help. Jenny has suffered a lot, experienced great struggle, pressed forward, clung to the Savior, and is now touching lives and leading them back to Christ.
The day after my time with Jenny, another friend (we’ll call her Susan) contacted me wanting to know if I had spent time with Jenny the previous night.
“Yes! We had a great time! She is an amazing person. Do you know her?”
“Interesting…. yes I know Jenny, we went to high school together.” She said with some disdain.
Without warning, Susan began to tell me why Jenny shouldn’t be doing this big amazing project that she was involved in. The same project that Jenny, herself, had told me the night before, was something God had told her to do. “She has struggled with ….(blah, blah, blah).” I stopped her, successfully changed the subject, and I became really really sad for Susan.
What Susan didn’t realize is that repentance is real… using Christ’s love and assistance to overcome our sins, imperfections, and insecurities is REAL. Jenny had done that. Sadly, Susan thought she was being “righteous” in telling me. She was being “helpful” by informing me of Jenny’s imperfections “just so you know” she said….. What?! No.
Whatever Jenny struggled with years before, was none of Susan’s business. Did Jenny need to send a flair up to let all of her family, friends, and acquaintances know, “Hey everyone! I have repented now! So instead of thinking of me as a sinner for doing ________, I am a saint now!”
We don’t have to be the judge. We are called to LOVE. That’s it. So simple (and yet so hard sometimes, right?) One of my favorite stories that illustrates this very principal is in Jeffrey R. Holland’s talk called “Remember Lot’s Wife”—This is one of those “hits you right between the eyes talks that is such a good frequent reminder! I highly recommend listening to the whole talk HERE:
“There is something in us, at least in too many of us, that particularly fails to forgive and forget earlier mistakes in life—either mistakes we ourselves have made or the mistakes of others. That is not good. It is not Christian. It stands in terrible opposition to the grandeur and majesty of the Atonement of Christ. To be tied to earlier mistakes—our own or other people’s—is the worst kind of wallowing in the past from which we are called to cease and desist.
I was told once of a young man who for many years was more or less the brunt of every joke in his school. He had some disadvantages, and it was easy for his peers to tease him. Later in his life he moved away from his community. He eventually joined the army and had some successful experiences there in getting an education and generally stepping away from his past. Above all, as many in the military do, he discovered the beauty and majesty of the Church and became very active and happy in it.
Then, after several years, he came back to the town of his youth. Most of his generation had moved on, but not all. Apparently when he returned quite successful and quite reborn, the same old mind-set that had existed before was still there, waiting for his return. To the people in his hometown he was still just old “so and so”—you remember the guy who had the problem, that idiosyncrasy, this quirky nature, and did such and such and such and such. And wasn’t it all just hilarious?
Well, you know what happened. Little by little this man’s Pauline effort to leave that which was behind and grasp the prize that God had laid before him was gradually diminished until he died about the way he had lived in his youth. He came full circle: again inactive and unhappy and the brunt of a new generation of jokes. Yet he had had that one bright, beautiful midlife moment when he had been able to rise above his past and truly see who he was and what he could become. Too bad, too sad, that he was again to be surrounded by a whole batch of… those who thought his past was more interesting than his future. Yes, they managed to rip out of his grasp that for which Christ had grasped him. And he died even more sadly , though as far as I know the story, through absolutely no fault of his own.
That happens in marriages, too, and in other relationships we have. I can’t tell you the number of couples I have counseled who, when they are deeply hurt or even just deeply stressed, reach farther and farther into the past to find yet a bigger brick to throw through the window “pain” of their marriage. When something is over and done with, when it has been repented of as fully as it can be repented of, when life has moved on as it should and a lot of other wonderfully good things have happened since then, it is not right to go back and open up some ancient wound that the Son of God Himself died trying to heal.
Let people repent. Let people grow. Believe that people can change and improve. Is that faith? Yes! Is that hope? Yes! Is it charity? Yes! Above all, it is charity, the pure love of Christ. If something is buried in the past, leave it buried. Don’t keep going back with your little sand pail and beach shovel to dig it up, wave it around, and then throw it at someone, saying, “Hey! Do you remember this?!” Splat!
Well, guess what? That is probably going to result in some ugly morsel being dug up out of your landfill with the reply, “Yeah, I remember it. Do you remember this?!” Splat!
And soon enough everyone comes out of that exchange dirty and muddy and unhappy and hurt, when what God, our Father in Heaven, pleads for is cleanliness and kindness and happiness and healing.
Such dwelling on past lives, including past mistakes, is just not right! It is not the gospel of Jesus Christ.”
“Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be.”
I have had a lot of personal experience with feeling put in a “box” of previous imperfections by others. It hurts. When people don’t see who you truly are, it can be heartbreaking. I’m certain some of you out there have felt disapproval, been torn down, put in “the box”, and surround by others who will never see you as you truly are.
What matters, however, is what you and God know. What you and God work together to accomplish. Surround yourself with the people that love you and support you NO MATTER WHAT. The ones that love who you are and see the person you are becoming! Find those that want to dream with you and build you higher. And keep those naysayers, judgers, and tearer-downers at arms length or farther if you need to. But in all things just rely on THE ONE who you know always has your back.
Sort of unrelated, but in the same ball park— and I just LOVE this quote!!!
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” -Theodore Roosevelt
January 15, Day 11
As I sat in church today, I was thinking about all of the different people gathered for one purpose. To worship the almighty God. I love how people from all walks of life— different backgrounds, different stories… hard trials, individual weaknesses, and hurdles of every shape and size can come together in a unity of FAITH.
I love this quote that was shared in church today, “There are some members of the Church whose testimony is sure and burns brightly within them. Others are still striving to know for themselves. The Church is a home for all to come together, regardless of the depth or the height of our testimony. I know of no sign on the doors of our meetinghouses that says, ‘Your testimony must be this tall to enter.’”
-Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Receiving a Testimony of Light and Truth (Find this talk HERE)
We cannot allow excuses to get in our way preventing us from worshipping God.
“Church is not a showcase for the saints, but a hospital for the sinners.” -Unknown
Sometimes, we are our greatest hurdle when it comes to worshipping God on His holy day.
So I wanted to issue this test to you + 6 tips to increase your spiritual confidence as written by Jorg Klebingat in his talk “Approaching the Throne of God with Confidence. Read the whole talk HERE.
Let me know how it goes!
“On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your spiritual confidence before God? Can you say within yourself that Heavenly Father is pleased with you? What thoughts come to mind if you had a personal interview with your Savior one minute from now? Would sins, regrets, and shortcomings dominate your self-image, or would you simply experience joyful anticipation? Would you meet or avoid His gaze? Would you linger by the door or confidently walk up to Him?”
[It is easy to feel like] Heavenly Father is disappointed in you, that the Atonement (Jesus Christ’s suffering on behalf of our sins) is beyond your reach, that there is no point in even trying, that everyone else is better than you, that you are unworthy, and a thousand variations of that same evil theme.
As long as you allow these voices to chisel away at your soul, you can’t approach the throne of God with real confidence. Whatever you do, whatever you pray for, whatever hopes for a miracle you may have, there will always be just enough self-doubt chipping away at your faith—not only your faith in God but also your confidence in yourself… [living this way] is completely unnecessary! The decision to change is yours—and yours alone.”
I would like to share six practical suggestions that, if heeded, will dissipate these evil voices and restore to you the kind of peaceful assurance and spiritual confidence that is yours to have if you only want it.Regardless of the rating you gave yourself on that 1-to-10 scale, by applying the Atonement of Jesus Christ, you can begin increasing your spiritual confidence today if you are willing to listen and act.
1. Take responsibility for your own spiritual well-being. Stop blaming others or your circumstances, stop justifying, and stop making excuses for why you may not be fully striving to be obedient.
2. Take responsibility for your own physical well-being. Your soul consists of your body and spirit (see D&C 88:15). Feeding the spirit while neglecting the body, which is a temple, usually leads to spiritual dissonance and lowered self-esteem. If you are out of shape, if you are uncomfortable in your own body and can do something about it, then do it!
3. Embrace voluntary, wholehearted obedience as part of your life. Acknowledge that you cannot love God without also loving His commandments. The Savior’s standard is clear and simple: “If ye love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15). Selective obedience brings selective blessings, and choosing something bad over something worse is still choosing wrong. You can’t watch a bad movie and expect to feel virtuous because you did not watch a very bad one.
4. Become really, really good at repenting thoroughly and quickly. Because the Atonement of Jesus Christ is very practical, you should apply it generously 24/7, for it never runs out.
5. Become really, really good at forgiving. “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men” (D&C 64:10). Forgive everyone, everything, all the time, or at least strive to do so, thus allowing forgiveness into your own life. Don’t hold grudges, don’t be easily offended, forgive and forget quickly, and don’t ever think that you are exempt from this commandment. Spiritual confidence increases when you know that the Lord knows that you bear no ill feelings toward another soul.
6. Accept trials, setbacks, and “surprises” as part of your mortal experience. Remember that you are here to be proved and tested…Spiritual confidence increases when you accept that “often trials and tribulations are allowed to come into [your life] because of what [you] are doing right.
January 16, Day 12
Today’s Truth in particular warrants some extra days of study for me. My husband and I will actually take some time together this week to study it together, assess where we lack (and believe me, we have PLENTY of improving to do!!!), and set goals to do better.
We had an emergency date night tonight. One where we could sit and talk without distraction and reconnect to be on the same page. Plan, coordinate, hold hands, and remember why we love each other. Life is complicated with lots of balls to juggle and stress to endure and sometimes, many times, it can get the best of us. But I love the following encouraging words and I want to read this one over again a few more times because it is just that good.
“The truest mark of your success in life will be the quality of your marriage. … This choice [of a companion] will be the most important of all the choices you make in your life.” – Gordon B. Hinckley
For some people, falling in love is a magical encounter, something that seems to happen at first sight. For others, it is a growing affinity and attraction toward another, like budding blossoms that flower into a beautiful bouquet. Though the first type of love may also bloom like the second, it is often merely glandular, a cotton candy kind of love that has no substance. While it may begin with warm cuddles in moonlit glades, it can soon grow cold as honeymoon memories fade and familiarity turns to faultfinding.
“The love of which the Lord speaks is not only physical attraction, but also faith, confidence, understanding, and partnership. It is devotion and companionship, parenthood, common ideals and standards. It is cleanliness of life and sacrifice and unselfishness. This kind of love never tires or wanes. It lives on through sickness and sorrow, through prosperity and privation, through accomplishment and disappointment, through time and eternity.”
-Spencer W. Kimball
CHRISTLIKE ATTRIBUTES IN MARRIAGE BY LYNNE G. ROBBINS FROM HIS TALK “AGENCY AND LOVE IN MARRIAGE. READ THE WHOLE AMAZING TALK HERE.
“Suffereth long” (1 Cor. 13:4)
THE LORD’S WAY:
• Is patient and tolerant, does not criticize. Recognizes that spouse is progressing, is patient with imperfections.
THE WRONG WAY:
• Is intolerant, ill-tempered, critical, cranky. • Despite staying together, has no close relationship. • Is impatient, complains, gives the silent treatment.
“Is kind” (1 Cor. 13:4)
THE LORD’S WAY:
• Is nice, thoughtful, interested in others. • Is a Good Samaritan, comforts, is merciful. • Can we “fall out of” kindness?
THE WRONG WAY:
• Is mean, miserly, cruel, inconsiderate, unmerciful. • Has a scowling countenance.• Is indifferent, remote, unconcerned, uninterested, unresponsive.
“Envieth not” (1 Cor. 13:4)
THE LORD’S WAY:
• Is content, grateful for blessings. • Rejoices in another’s gifts, talents, success. • Is generous and offers help to those in need. • Lives frugally. • Knows the difference between needs and wants, avoids unnecessary debt.
THE WRONG WAY:
• Is resentful, jealous, greedy, covetous. • Fails to pay an honest tithe. • Is selfish and withholds help (see Morm. 8:39; Mosiah 4:22, 24–25). • Has a “my,” not “our,” money mentality. • Incurs excessive debt. • Has a spirit of speculation.
• Is ungrateful. • Is a partial tithe-payer. • Is vain—sets heart on costly apparel, etc. • Lives beyond income. • Allows interest on credit cards to accumulate. • Does not try to save food or money for future needs.
“Is not puffed up” (1 Cor. 13:4)
THE LORD’S WAY:
• Is humble, meek, teachable. • Does not speak vainly or seek attention. • Happily serves wherever called. • Lifts, praises, builds others up. • Seeks the will of God.
THE WRONG WAY:
• Is proud, eager for attention, self-centered, pompous, boastful. • Murmurs against leaders. • Is condescending with spouse or “holier than thou.” • Is offended when advice is given.
• Does not praise or give due credit to others. • Aspires to positions. • Is a know-it-all, is unteachable. • Puffed up because of knowledge, talents, wealth (see 2 Ne. 9:42).
“Doth not behave itself unseemly” (1 Cor. 13:5)
THE LORD’S WAY:
• Is courteous, well mannered, tactful, tasteful, reverent, respectful, mindful of others. • Is clean, neat, orderly.
THE WRONG WAY:
• Is discourteous, crude, disrespectful, indecent, improper, irreverent. • Enjoys dirty jokes. • Is boisterous: loud laughter. • Leaves a place worse than it was found.
• Doesn’t say “please” or “thank you.” • Has forgotten everyday courtesies. • Is disorderly and unkempt.
“Seeketh not her own” (1 Cor. 13:5)
THE LORD’S WAY:
• Is tender-hearted, sensitive, compassionate, merciful, generous. • Seeks unity, kneels together in prayer, listens with empathy, avoids contention. • Thinks “we” and “ours.” • Is approachable. • Seeks to please God.
THE WRONG WAY:
• Is demanding, controlling, selfish, manipulative, blaming. • Lacks unity, is contentious. • Thinks “I” and “mine.” • Seldom listens, is aloof. • Seeks self-gratification, is self-indulgent. • Seeks the praise of men.
• Doesn’t say “I’m sorry.” • Is reluctant to render help (as with household chores). • Is guilty of self-pity and advertises it. • Is uncaring.
“Is not easily provoked” (1 Cor. 13:5)
THE LORD’S WAY:
• Is forgiving, patient, calm, gentle, respectful. • Understands that anger is a decision and can be controlled. • Is a peacemaker (see 3 Ne. 12:9).
THE WRONG WAY:
• Is irritable, spiteful, vengeful. • Is easily angered, often hostile and abusive. • Is defensive, responds with disgust or contempt. • Swears, has a bad temper.
• Argues over every silly little thing, is not open minded. • Disciplines in anger. • Does not bridle passions (see Alma 38:12).
“Thinketh no evil” (1 Cor. 13:5)
THE LORD’S WAY:
• Is nonjudgmental, respectful, helpful, pure, obedient. • Has “no more disposition to do evil” (Mosiah 5:2). • Is modest in dress, thought, speech. • Virtue garnishes thoughts unceasingly.
THE WRONG WAY:
• Is cruel, conniving, deceitful, dishonest. • Indulges in pornography and inappropriate music. • Dresses immodestly. • Is an inventor of “evil things”(Rom. 1:30).
• Is judgmental, prejudiced, faultfinding. • Bears grudges, gossips. • Participates in jokes about intimate or sacred things. • Seeks improper intimacy with spouse. • Tolerates evil influences.
“Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth” (1 Cor. 13:6)
THE LORD’S WAY:
• Stays close to the Spirit through regular scripture study, prayer, obedience. • Has discovered that truth leads to joy and happiness.
THE WRONG WAY:
• Has an “eat, drink, and be merry” mentality. • Is indulgent, unfaithful, disobedient. • Is addicted to vices. • Justifies self, makes excuses.
• Is light-minded. • Is casual with prayers. • Is not diligent about gospel teaching or scripture reading in the home.
“Beareth all things” (1 Cor. 13:7)
THE LORD’S WAY:
• Has moral courage, is bold in truth. • Turns the other cheek, is calm. (This does not mean that abuse victims should silently bear cruelty, or follow a spouse disobedient to God.)
THE WRONG WAY:
• Is insulting, defensive, irritable, touchy, grouchy, moody. • Is a coward. • Is ashamed of righteousness.
• Is ungrateful. • Yields to peer pressure in compromising situations. • Is apathetic. • Is weary in well-doing.
“Believeth all things” (1 Cor. 13:7)
THE LORD’S WAY:
• Clearly sees the eternal potential of spouse and forever families. • Sees others as children of God. • Holds fast to the gospel of Jesus Christ.
THE WRONG WAY:
• Doubts spouse’s potential, is critical and cynical. • Is unfriendly to spouse. • Is condescending, intolerant. • Has let go of the iron rod, is not active in the Church.
• Is distanced, remote, inattentive, insensitive. • Is a hypocrite, lives a lie. • Goes to church, but wishes to be elsewhere.
“Hopeth all things” (1 Cor. 13:7)
THE LORD’S WAY:
• Is an optimist. • Looks for the best. • Praises, builds up, expresses affection. • Continues courting spouse.
THE WRONG WAY:
• Is a pessimist. • Is a nagger. • Is a faultfinder. • Is unrepentant, in denial.
• Is a fatalist. • Is bored. • Is neglectful. • Doesn’t feel worthy to pray for forgiveness.
“Endureth all things” (1 Cor. 13:7)
THE LORD’S WAY:
• Doesn’t complain or murmur. • Is responsible and gladly accepts callings. • Sees growth in adversity. • Has a desire to learn and progress. • Is steadfast, knows life is a test.
THE WRONG WAY:
• Is always complaining, murmuring. • Shirks or avoids responsibility. • Can’t keep a job.
• Is lukewarm or gives half-hearted effort. • Is lazy or spends too much time on hobbies, TV, etc. • Is afflicted with self-pity.
I’m so glad that I’ve got this guy for eternity…. that he looks past my million (it feels like) faults and makes me feel like I can do anything. He is my biggest cheerleader and support— and often saves me like SuperMan at the end of a long day. Our life isn’t perfect, our marriage isn’t perfect, but with the Lord all of it is perfect.
January 18, Day 14
Today’s post topic spurred from my need to regroup, re-evaluate and repent— specifically concerning a certain child (who will remain unnamed 😉 ). This morning I found myself boiling inside before the day had really even started while trying to get everyone ready and in the car for school. I’m convinced the thoughts in a certain child’s head are louder than anything I say (even when I say it 10 times!) I lost it, we lost it. I feel bad about that. I REALLY want to have a great relationship with my kids. I love this child so much. So tonight we went on a date to dinner and a movie. We had time to talk, laugh, and just have fun— we ALL need that, right?! Barriers are mending and I need a hefty pep talk on controlling my anger— so here you go!
“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city” (Prov. 16:32)
“Control your tempers, to put a smile upon your faces, which will erase anger; speak out with words of love and peace, appreciation, and respect. If you will do this, your lives will be without regret. Your marriages and family relationships will be preserved. You will be much happier. You will do greater good. You will feel a sense of peace that will be wonderful.” -Gordon B. Hinckley
“The family is also Satan’s primary target. He is waging war on the family. One of his schemes is the subtle and cunning way he has of sneaking behind enemy lines and entering our very homes and lives.
He damages and often destroys families within the walls of their own homes. His strategy is to stir up anger between family members. Satan is the “father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another” (3 Ne. 11:29; emphasis added). The verb stir sounds like a recipe for disaster: Put tempers on medium heat, stir in a few choice words, and bring to a boil; continue stirring until thick; cool off; let feelings chill for several days; serve cold; lots of leftovers.
A cunning part of his strategy is to dissociate anger from agency, making us believe that we are victims of an emotion that we cannot control. We hear, “I lost my temper.” Losing one’s temper is an interesting choice of words that has become a widely used idiom. To “lose something” implies “not meaning to,” “accidental,” “involuntary,” “not responsible”—careless perhaps but “not responsible.”
“He made me mad.” This is another phrase we hear, also implying lack of control or agency. This is a myth that must be debunked. No one makes us mad. Others don’t make us angry. There is no force involved. Becoming angry is a conscious choice, a decision; therefore, we can make the choice not to become angry. We choose!
Unchecked, anger can quickly trigger an explosion of cruel words and other forms of emotional abuse that can scar a tender heart. It is “that which cometh out of the mouth,” the Savior said; “this defileth a man” (Matt. 15:11).
-Lynne G. Robbins, “Agency and Anger”
Full Talk Here: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1998/04/agency-and-anger?lang=eng
The following excerpts are from a talk by El Rey Christiansen called, “Be Slow to Anger”
“Aggression, … suppressing the anger, talking about it, screaming and yelling,” are all learned strategies in dealing with anger. “We choose the one that has proved effective for us in the past. Ever notice how seldom we lose control when frustrated by our boss, but how often we do when annoyed by friends or family?” (“The New Obscenity,” Reader’s Digest, Dec. 1988, 24; emphasis added).
“The size of a man may be measured by the size of the things that make him angry.” -Anonymous
“To become upset and infuriated over trivial matters gives evidence of childishness and immaturity in a person.
“We are constantly exposed to irritations as we mingle with others—and even when we are alone. How we react to these irritations is a reflection of our personalities and temperaments. It would seem reasonable to believe that in order to develop a healthy, pleasing personality and to become useful and an influence for good, one must avoid being easily provoked to anger. Not only would we show, thereby, more maturity, but we would also be able to resolve disturbing situations more intelligently, because seldom, if ever, is any good accomplished while persons are in a rage. Anger does not contribute to good. It is a destroyer, not a builder.”
“Even in our families, situations may arise that could cause irritations. It is then that parents must be calm and exemplary. The man with an uncontrolled temper is like an undisciplined child—he expresses his emotions explosively or by sulking, and disregards the feelings of those about him. In the home, anger should be controlled and love should abound. When, in his most impressionable years, a child experiences ugly situations that result from uncontrolled tempers, when he hears unkind words exchanged between his father and mother, and when he sees contention crowd out an atmosphere of kindness and mutual respect—when these conditions make a child’s environment, what chance has he to become refined and noble? The minds of children are like the sensitive plates of a photographer; they record every incident, good and bad. Our children may forget what is said, but they never forget that which they are made to feel.”
“Frustrations often offer us the means of progression, for by overcoming them harmoniously, we grow and become more Christlike.”
“Jesus set the example in personal conduct regarding anger when, although he had been falsely accused and made the subject of railings and mockery, he stood majestically and completely composed before the perplexed Pontius Pilate. He did not retaliate in anger. Rather, he stood erect, poised, unmoved. His conduct was divine. What an example for all of us!”
Listen to these marvelous words of the Savior, the master teacher:
“Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” (Matt. 5:43–44.)
-El Rey Christiansen, “Be Slow to Anger”
Full Talk HERE: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1971/04/be-slow-to-anger?lang=eng
“Parents may tell
But never teach
Unless they practice
What they preach.”
“For in many things we offend all. [But] if any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.” James 3:2
Okay, okay, you get the idea. I don’t know about you, but I have A LOT to work on. I think it all starts with prayers and baby steps. So tomorrow I am praying for patience and love. I think I can go one whole day without getting upset… I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…